I’m Trying
I’ve been in a minor-to-moderate depression episode since August. All I have been doing is either sleeping or losing myself in video games. Mostly sleeping day in and day out. I keep getting appointments with various doctors rescheduled because I just feel so horrible and don’t want to leave the house. They are very important appointments too meant to relieve several chronic pains. One was to try Botox to alleviate my teeth grinding and clenching pain. Another was to get injections in my knees to hopefully stop or lessen the arthritis pain I have. Seems like there were others too but I don’t know anymore. I want to be able to drive my new-to-me car, but I just can’t manage to force myself to get out. Both I and Mom tried calling the psychiatrist’s office for help last Friday but never got a call back. We’ll just have to try again on Monday.
I am now feeling slightly better than I was previously but I’m still quite obviously not out of the darkness yet. I’ve been trying to do some cleaning and other physical tasks lately as exercise is supposed to help. I guess it’s helping, I don’t know. I’m also trying to get back into my Sims modding. The Sims community has been so very supportive while I’ve been on this hiatus. Several of the comments on my Patreon posts even made me tear up a bit. It’s nice to know that there are people out there that care about me. A new expansion pack for Sims 4 was released last week, and I’ve spent the last two or so days trying it out. At first, I felt completely and totally lost, but now I’m starting to get my bearings. I even made a new small tuning mod and updated an older one. I think getting back to modding will help with my mood. I’d like to get back to working on my art too but that can wait for now.
I feel so tired even now and am trying not to crawl back into bed yet. I only woke up about six hours ago. I’d like to stay up at least a little bit longer. Maybe I’ll open up the Sims again. At least I’m trying to get back into things.
